Permy Permy Perm.

I can't wait to get my perm.
I'm getting it closer to the end of the month.
Hopefully my hair will have grown enough by then.
I just cut it a few weeks ago so I don't look so shaggy for Beth's wedding.
Either way, I can't wait!!

Have a nice Trip. See you next Fall.

I don't like the Fall.
I don't like it for a few reasons.
1. It means the end of Summer.
2. I think I associate it with going back to school, which I always hated.
Although I never held back when it came to the clothes I wore, or the people I associated with, I was always painfully shy.

Anyway, just like a song or smell will trigger your memory, the weather always triggers mine.

As the weather keeps getting cooler, I keep getting flashbacks to this time last year. I had just met Myke and we would go sneaker shopping and thrift store shopping and walk around New York and Philly.

This weather reminds me of getting sick and being out of work for 5 days. It was the worst physical pain I've experienced in my life to date. At the same time, I'm glad I went through it.
Listening to MIA makes me think of this weather too. I don't know why.
I haven't listened to MIA in a while. A long while. I remember listening to her when I was younger and only a few people knew who she was.

MIA makes me think of Dionn.
I hadn't talked to her in a long time, and a few weeks ago she called me at 7:30 in the morning and was eating cherry pie.
I miss Dionn.
We have a very similar thought process and we feed off of each other's ideas.
Honestly, I haven't seen her since right before I moved to New York - and that was in 2006.

Dionn makes me think of Jaamal.

Jaamal makes me think of crazy dieting, crazy exercise, the Gathering, New York and burritos.

New York and burritos makes me think of the Lower East Side.

The Lower East Side makes me think of Jah Jah.
Jah Jah makes me think of lots of things, but let's go with this one:

Jah Jah makes me think of Ana.
I miss Ana.

Ana makes me think of Sterling.

Sterling makes me think of Shon.
Shon and I are having dinner tonight. Her birthday was August 31st and I haven't seen her.

Dinner makes me think of my family.

My family makes me feel sad.
Not because they make me sad, but because they're really proud of me and I feel like a brat for kind of being unsatisfied with my life.

Oh, the weather.

Mmm Mmm MMMMMMM

You know it's going to be an unusual day when you take the wrong train to work and when you realize it, switch to the V train and when you get out of the subway to walk to work, it smells like bacon and butter.



I don't even eat bacon but this just looked absolutely incredible.


And this is the most amazing thing I've ever heard of. Chicken fried bacon. I must have some. I must.


I found this by accident. It's the "BaconWave". Hahahaha Because cooking it in a pan is such a hassle.

Gold Jeans!

This perfume bottle is so amazing!!
It's Rocco Barocco Gold Jeans.
I want to find it and get it.
It doesn't even have to smell good.

Droooooooooollllllll.......

I broke down and got lunch at Whole Foods today. Not the best idea, but it was fine for today.
I got some things that are "ok" for me to eat, and then I saw the potatoes au gratin...
I read the ingredients, and there was nothing about cheese, so I got a tiny bit just to try. Literally, it was like 3 potato pieces.
I took it back to my desk to eat since it was raining - and let me tell you - it was the most heavenly thing I've eaten in a really long time.
I can tell you that there was ricotta and romano cheese in it - which is the best and worst cheese combo I've ever tasted. (Worst only because it's way bad for you.)
Since my camera is still out of commission, please enjoy some googled images.

Bags Under My Eyes. Ew!

I hate it when people are intimidated by a "superior" at work.
They're just people.
I hate it when they get all tense and nervous because they want to make this "higher-up" happy and they're scared to disappoint them.
Seriously. Just people.

I'm really tired. My eyes hurt.

I wish I didn't have Morrissey in my head.
I don't even listen to Morrissey.

Cicciona.

You know there's something wrong when the only trash in my trashcan at work is food trash and it's only 12:05pm.
I'm not hungry but all I can think about is eating.
"What else can I eat?"
I'm like an addict.
...and the weight's coming back.
I ate so much yesterday that I threw up in my mouth a little bit - just sitting at my desk.
This blog wasn't supposed to be so heavy. No pun intended.

I wish it was my birthday.

It's my cousin Stephanie's 21st birthday.
And it's my friend Cam's 24th.
One month from today I'm going to be 25.
25 years old.
Why does that scare me?
I think because I want 25 to be meaningful. I want to do all the things I promised myself I would do. Who needs sleep?
I want to check everything off of my list.

A few months ago I got on the N train to go to work.
It was one of the "good" N trains - the new ones.
The digital sign kept flashing that the train's final destination was 57th St and 7th Ave. I smiled a little because whenever I see that number it makes me think of how excited a certain group of friends get.
At Pacific Street, a young guy got on and stood right in front of me. He moved over a little to make room for a girl. I saw a tattoo on the inside of the guy's arm and I knew it couldn't possibly say what I thought it said. It did. "There is a light that never goes out." At this point I wasn't sure what to think of the coincidence...then I realized that he and the girl next to him knew each other. I also noticed that she had the same tattoo on the same part of her arm, but in another language. Of course I read into it heavily. Why did they get on that train at that specific time? Why did they get onto that same car? Why did they stand right in front of me? The more I thought about it, the deeper and crazier my interpretation of the encounter became. I finally came to the conclusion that it meant that I misinterpreted the message when it was presented to me.
Their tattoos both said the same thing, but hers was different - another language....I thought it meant something that it didn't.

This painting by Audrey Kawasaki looks like my little sister! It's so crazy!!

Sum = 57

I woke up at 10:57 this morning.
I literally put some pants on and ran out the door.
I have Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up - in my head.
I haven't showered, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair - I'm not even wearing a bra.
Thank God for my pinny.
I was still sweating from my sleep when I got to the office.
I haven't even gotten a chance to pee yet.
I missed our meeting about Web PDM - apparently it was a big deal.
I'm still way upset about yesterday's events.
It hurts like crazy.
I got home at 4 this morning.
There was a note when I got there.
I cried like someone very close to me had died.
I want to cry now.
What's happening to me?

Love Always,

Penny