Nice Refreshing Glass of Water.

A few months ago, I was thrown into this whirlwind...a crazy whirlwind...no sleep, excessive drinking, new friends, walking the bridge, not showering for days at a time, not even being at my apartment for days at a time, not cleaning my apartment for months at a time - or doing laundry...being brave when I thought I couldn't, being honest when I thought I couldn't, realizing what I'm worth - no - confirming what I'm worth, waking up to handfuls of people and foreign objects in my apartment - waking up in dirty clothes and not remembering how I got home, spending money because I have it, hopping from party to party, going to work on an hour of sleep - and crying and praying first thing in the morning because I feel like death and can't focus my eyes, making plenty of bad decisions, and basically losing track of my life...and of myself. Just feeling totally grimey but loving it at the same time. I've always done everything right. I feel like I got caught up in it and now that my feet have finally had a chance to touch the ground, I've attempted to take a deep breath and sleep it off.

Sometimes you need a little vacation from your life. Occasionally I take these mini-vacations and stay with friends for the weekend. (Or have friends stay with me.) I especially like it because we have mini adventures. The only thing that's "mini" about these adventures is the time frame. (Usually between Thursday and Monday.) This time around, my adventures definitely started Thursday night and really still haven't ended, since I haven't been home yet. I think I was home for a few hours Saturday night and I've been away since.
It's not out of the ordinary, but this time has been different. It was like I hit the "reset" button. I feel secure, inspired, and motivated.
This is my life. I have to make it good.

I kinda feel like I'm secretly standing on the side of the road waiting to get swept up again.