Don't Leave Home Without It.

I had a pretty eventful night last night - but went through the experience camera-less like a dope.
I will say that throughout the whole night, 2 numbers that add up to 12 kept showing up. Doorways, in texts, randomly checking the time...And that's not even on my mind anymore. I'm completely done with that.

I think it all started in the early aftertoon. 2 different people told me to call them after work. I called both, and neither answered.

I stayed a little later at work to make the deadline...which I did.

Andy told me he'd be in the city around 8, so I just figured I'd hang out at Union Square until he was around. While I was sitting there, this guy with rollerblades draped around this neck and a big back pack plopped himself down on the steps in front of me and started drawing me. I just kept texting...after a little while, he asked me if I would like to keep the drawing. "Free of charge." So when he handed it to me, all of my insecurities were confirmed:

I told him he should sign it, so he reluctantly wrote "Roberto" on the back. I thanked him and told him to have a good night. He told me that I was very beautiful and he enjoyed sketching me.

These 2 guys were putting on a magic show in Union Square. They're there a lot, but I never watch, so since I had time to kill, I watched it for a little while. They were doing all these crazy tricks, like swallowing swords and making forks bend with their minds. When it came time to give them money, I walked away and stood and leaned on a beam by the steps. Before I knew it, the guy was back again, on the steps in front of me, sketching away. I stood there and acted like I didn't know. When he was finished, he gave me the second one.
He told me he didn't want to draw the face because he wanted it to be dramatic. And he drew my hands behind me because he just liked how it looked. Personally, I think he couldn't figure out how to draw either one.

As I was standing there, I saw this woman sitting at a table with a candle and an empty chair facing her on the other side of the table. I assumed she was offering psychic consultations...and I'm not going to lie - I thought about talking to her. What? I never do that.

Andy finally texted me and gave me the address of the place he where he was meeting his friend. I didn't really know how to get there, but I knew the general area so I just started walking. On my way there, by NYU, this boy asked me if I knew which way Greenwich Village was, and I didn't - so he asked these other people and apparently it was in the same direction that I was going. He started talking to me-just making conversation. He had moved to NY from DC not too long ago, and is a comedian. He was like 20. I thought it was cool. He walked with me until I found the place where I was meeting Andy.

At the bar there were darts and pinball and I found a dollar on the floor. This girl liked my glasses so I let her try them on. It would have made an awesome picture. She looked really cool.
There was a snowman made out of Christmas lights on the ceiling too. One of Andy's friend's roomates had a PNB shirt on. He certainly was not Nubian or a "brother", but he certainly seemed quite proud.
Andy laughs at me but in a good way. He thinks it's funny that I like the things I do, and some of the people I've dated or talked to. He just cracks up and makes jokes at me all the time.

When we left there it was like 1:30. We went to Brooklyn to Trophy. All 2 times I've been there it's been pretty empty, but everyone in the place was dancing. We danced a little. Andy flirted with his friend's roommate, Kate. She was really fun. She likes dancing even more than I do. There was this really tall blonde girl who was dancing really funny. Hahaha Speaking of which, you don't realize how white your friends are until you watch them dance.

It was raining pretty hard when we left. Andy's friend and his roommate got a cab. Haha Andy was disappointed that Kate didn't go home with him. Some guy that had been in the bar offered to share a car with me and pay for it. Andy flat out told him no. I'm glad he did because I can be too trusting sometimes. So we took the train. The whole ride we talked about all kinds of stuff. It was super late when we finally got to Carroll St. We started walking toward his house and he started asking me if I was ok. He said that he worries about me sometimes because I seem to have a lot of problems. I felt bad because I don't mean to complain. He said he doesn't mind listening - he just wanted to make sure that I had fun and forgot about things for a little while. I think it's nice that I have a friend like that. It's like having a brother. He offered his couch for me to sleep on, but I just wanted to get home.

I walked to Union and 4th Ave...5:00 in the morning...it was really dark and raining...and I just started crying. I'm not sure why. I cried most of the way. I saw a lot of cool stuff I wanted to take pictures of - like these sunflowers and this warehouse that looks like it's apartments now. I saw a lot of bmx bikes that I liked too.

I think I'm going to go spend money today. Usually on a day like this I'd end up in soho. I don't usually buy stuff there - just walk around. I don't think that sounds like a good plan this time around.

There is a Light and it DOES Go Out.

So against all - and I mean all of my better judgement, I read through something today that I'd been avoiding for months. I read it and all it did was piss me off. I really don't need that. It's my own fault though. You know when you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is wrong? Well you should trust that feeling. Always.
Ignorance really is bliss. Damn it!

In other news, my bangs are extra greasy today for no reason. The rest of my hair is fine. I look like I got caught in the rain - or just my forehead did.

I really want to punch someone right now. And not about my bangs.

Another Addiction.

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?
That's for me to know. I know you're curious though. Tough.

2.Where was the last place you went out to eat?
I bought lunch yesterday at this sushi place near my job.

3.What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Andre

4.Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?
Eyes first, then lips. I can't really make a big deal about lips because I don't have any.

5.Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Fine arts.

6.Best kind of pizza?
Anything with ricotta cheese on it. Or pepperoni. Pepperoni is my weakness.

7.Is your bedroom window open?
Sorta - it's got the air conditioner in it.

8.What is in store for your future?
Gee whiz I don't know.

9.Who was the last band you saw live?
Started to watch some band at McCarren pool but I don't know what they're called.

10.Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
If they needed me to.

11.What is your favorite soda?
I don't really drink soda like that, but definitely orange.

12.How many songs are on your iTunes?
I don't have itunes....

13.When was the last time you purchased something over 0?
Over 0? What's that mean?

14.Where is the last place you drove to?
Andy's b-day party.

15.Are you experienced?
I don't know...am I?

16.Any historical figures that you envy?
Probably.

17.What brand of digital camera do you own?
Nikon

18.When was the last time you got a good workout?
Oooo....that's a sensitive subject....

19.If you need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first?
For some reason I always go to uniqlo first - even though their jeans aren't made for people with any kind of shape whatsoever. Then they always end up falling off my hips because my butt doesn't fit right in them.

20.Where did your last kiss take place?
Who wants to know?

21.What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
Straightening my greasy ass hair that hadn't been washed in like 4 days.

22.Are you a quitter?
Eh, sometimes.

23.Who was the last person you had in your house?
Nobody ever comes to my house. Ok they do.

24.Can you speak another language?
Man I'm ashamed to say that I can't. Ask me again later.

25.How about you put your legs behind your head?
How about you do it.

26.When was the last time you went dancing while under the influence?
Hmmm...wow I guess I haven't done that in a while. Not since the last time I saw Ana! It was at Trophy after Andy's band played at that house party. Woah that was a little while ago. I need to get some of that back in my life.

27.Nickname?
Nay, Nay Nay, Lil Nay, Penny, Renoo, Renoodle

28.Describe what you are wearing in detail?
Oh geeze. Ok gray dinosaur shirt, dark blue jeans, my b & w 6.0s, and the everyday stuff like my watch and necklace and earrings and my black bracelet. Oh and my messy hair.

29.What do you think about people who party a lot?
Fun. Unless it's sad.

30.Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Extremely. Well, it depends who I'm having the conversation with, but for the most part, it def makes me uncomfy. I'm really private about that kind of stuff.

31.Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister
Ew.

32.What was the last CD you purchased?
hahaha Datarock.

33.What are two bands or singers that you will always love?
That's really tough. I mean, there's a lot to chose from....I'd have to really think about it and get back to you if you really want to know.

34.What of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
Definitely gluttony. I don't really remember what the rest of them are. Is envy one?

35.Did you just have to google the seven deadly sins to see what they were?
I thought about it.

36.Where is your favorite place to get coffee?
I don't drink coffee.

37.Have you ever been offered a job?
I was offered this one that I have right now.

38.Have you ever stolen anything off of a road?
Someone's rim. It was amazing. I gave it to my friend Danielle.

39.When was the last time you dyed your hair?
In 7th grade I put a blue streak in my hair. Then I decided I didn't like it. haha

40.Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
That time we got in that car with that crazy lady who said she didn't care if you drank or smoked or whatever in her car. haha She was funny.

41.Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?
None of your damn business.

42.Miss someone?
Yeah.

43.How is your last ex doing?
He hates me.

44.Is there someone you want to fight?
You.

Snap Krackle Pop.

I'm addicted to Rice Krispies Treats.
The pre-packaged ones taste like Christmas.

Aw man....

I want Ana to come home.
I need a hug.

Dorney Part 2.

Poor Mommy. She had to get one of these things. Actually the video is really funny.


Miranda's first rollercoaster. She was scared but played it off beautifully.


Fake smiles all around. We love each other.


Weener.

My Heart Hurts. My Pride Hurts. I Have 2 Owies.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings.
Well, I'm glad I have feelings, but I wish I didn't let them run my life.
I always find the good in people and block out things I probably shouldn't block out.
Then I end up sad.
I've been cheated on, I've been lied to, I've been ignored.
And every time - trusting and offering my all unconditionally.
I'm a small girl to have such a big heart.

Dorney

This cucumber came from someone's garden.

Cicciona.




I loved this kid's shirt but he kept hiding behind his dad. This was the best we could do. haha Awesome.

Hoagies and WaWa.

Nice Refreshing Glass of Water.

A few months ago, I was thrown into this whirlwind...a crazy whirlwind...no sleep, excessive drinking, new friends, walking the bridge, not showering for days at a time, not even being at my apartment for days at a time, not cleaning my apartment for months at a time - or doing laundry...being brave when I thought I couldn't, being honest when I thought I couldn't, realizing what I'm worth - no - confirming what I'm worth, waking up to handfuls of people and foreign objects in my apartment - waking up in dirty clothes and not remembering how I got home, spending money because I have it, hopping from party to party, going to work on an hour of sleep - and crying and praying first thing in the morning because I feel like death and can't focus my eyes, making plenty of bad decisions, and basically losing track of my life...and of myself. Just feeling totally grimey but loving it at the same time. I've always done everything right. I feel like I got caught up in it and now that my feet have finally had a chance to touch the ground, I've attempted to take a deep breath and sleep it off.

Sometimes you need a little vacation from your life. Occasionally I take these mini-vacations and stay with friends for the weekend. (Or have friends stay with me.) I especially like it because we have mini adventures. The only thing that's "mini" about these adventures is the time frame. (Usually between Thursday and Monday.) This time around, my adventures definitely started Thursday night and really still haven't ended, since I haven't been home yet. I think I was home for a few hours Saturday night and I've been away since.
It's not out of the ordinary, but this time has been different. It was like I hit the "reset" button. I feel secure, inspired, and motivated.
This is my life. I have to make it good.

I kinda feel like I'm secretly standing on the side of the road waiting to get swept up again.

I Lost My Poor Meatball When Somebody Sneezed.

I'm totally greasy today.
I haven't showered since Saturday before I left Philly.
Even I can't pull that off.

Hallelujah

Elvis has left the building.

More to come later....

Break Dance!

Love, Nay and Mamby

Craptacular.

Sometimes the most hurtful words are, "I think I just want to be by myself."

Fantastic.

D.U.F.F.

So I've been dieting for a week - and when I look back, I "cheated" a little more than I wanted to. Mostly last weekend. I've even been eating this nasty non-fat plain yogurt for breakfast. It's painful.
I haven't made any progress. I really want to look nice for Beth's wedding. Of the 3 bride's maids, I don't want to be the chubby one. :(

Bizaare. O. World.

Please explain to me what's going on here:




Apparently the elegance that emanates from these girls can be seen from across Union Square. They sat down next to me on the steps and this guy comes from behind me, hits me in the head with his bag, and goes straight for them, telling them how elegant they are and that he can tell by their outfits that they're not from New York. They're not. They're from Baltimore and apparently he's some famous photographer whose name I didn't catch. He kept going on and on about their style and how he doesn't see that anymore and he just has to take their picture because they're going in his book. One of these girls claims to be an actress, one claims to be a singer, and the other claims to be a model. They also claimed that people had been staring at them all day because of the way they're dressed.
All I can say is that I can shop at American Apparel, H&M, and Forever 21 too, where this sort of pre-packaged look is readily available. We all can. It's really not hard to capture that "Straight Out the Gallery Elegance".




I liked these girls because they had matching bracelets like Ana and me. Awwww.

Oh Man.

You Stepped on my Blue Suede Shoes.

Elvis is kicking my ass this month.

Before I'm a Quarter.

Life is what you make of it and I feel like I haven't been making very much of mine.
My family would argue that I've done a lot with my life so far, being that I moved to NY by myself when I was 22 and have been working in fashion using my degree. I've always paid my own rent and my own bills and have been doing ok.
It's not enough for me though. I don't want to be sitting in an office everyday for the rest of my life. I don't want to be sitting in an office right now.
I want to be making art and sewing and meeting interesting people and traveling. The art that I've made has been so half-assed, it's not even worth thinking about.
I'm going to be 25 in October. I can't keep putting things off and telling myself that I'm too tired or waiting for other people. I need a push.
I cleaned up a little in my apartment which actually does motivate me because there's room in there now. haha

In other news, I was getting on the train last night and I overheard this guy say, "You can trust me. I'm from the Bronx." So awesome.

Water Ice and Soft Pretzels

This is the tomato plant that my landlord has been growing out front of our building. It's quite hideous and the tomatoes are really small. I think it's dying. It's actually pretty embarrassing. It's taking over the entire front of the house....and I certainly wouldn't eat those tomatoes.
I was heading to Philly on Saturday to meet with Beth, her sister Adele, and their cousin Helene to do wedding stuff. Someone wrote this on a blank sign down in the subway by my apartment. I don't think God would want people to pretend they're Him and write things like this. Then again, I haven't read John 16, so I don't know what it means.

When I got to Philly, I had a while before I had to meet with Beth. Since I had to meet her on fabric row, I walked around there and South St for a while. I never really get to do that anymore, and since that area was basically my high school hangout (and some of college) it was nice to re-visit.

I remember this place, but I don't remember it being on the street I found it on. I like it because it matches my nails right now.

It's so weird, but life really does go on without you. This is not the South St I know. It's much cleaner and there aren't any trees anymore. I remember those trees that everybody used to stick their gum to. They're not there anymore. The stores are the same for the most part, but it seems like there's a lot more sidewalk or something.

I miss Rita's terribly. A few weekends ago I was home and I got a gelati with wild black cherry water ice and chocolate custard. It was heavenly. haha The sign is telling the truth.

We used to go to Rita's every year on the first day of spring because they give out free water ice. So awesome.

My favorite water ice place though is Pop's in south Philly. My mom mom used to take my cousins, my sister and me there all the time every summer when we were growing up. I always got lemon, although I hated that it had pieces of lemon in it. I always stuck them to the inside of the cup. hahahaha

The best thing to go with water ice is a soft pretzel with spicy mustard. I miss it so much. I really do.

This made me sad because it if were my bike, I know I'd be devastated. And it's locked up in the front and back...but that doesn't matter. :(

This car is like a matchbox car. I <3>

...To be continued.....

TO DO LIST.

In no particular order:

1. Finish dresses for wedding.

2. Finish sewing pants.

3. Art project #1 (JnglJ) - Plan plan plan

4. Art project #2 - Plan

5. BMX project(s):

5A. Business cards

5B. Stickers

5C. Blog

6. Sewing/clothes:

6A. Turkey Shirt

6B. Macaroni Hat

6C. Wu-Tang

6D. Onesies

6E. Screen for Cupcakes
6F. The RC

6G. Hem black jeans, purple jeans, gold jeans

6H. Brian's wedding present

7. Finish scroll with Ana

8. Fix "Mamby and Shell" necklace

9. Extra Virgin

10. Project Back to School

11. Sketches/boards for Beth's wedding

Elvis is in the Building.

I hate it when Elvis comes to visit once a month because sometimes he ruins everything. Like right now I feel nausious and have chills...not to mention the horrible cramps. Oh and I feel big as a house. And I have to be at work until 6. It's only 9:56.

I just realized that I have blue suede shoes.

This came from Elle Magazine. haha Aw and it's true.

Daily Horoscope:
Weekend Update: This Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse weekend is all about expressing your love, creativity and desire to others, instead of holding back, waiting for the 'perfect' time that never quite comes. State your preferences instead of deferring to others (and then secretly resenting that your needs aren't being met). You need to recognize the role you play in a relationship - and the responsibility you have to keep a friendship or romance alive and kicking. If you find yourself snapping at another or blaming him or her for your dissatisfaction, pause and walk over to the mirror. You're projecting your own issues onto another. As a Libra, you know that you do this, but may have fallen into a routine. This routine will interfere with your ability to manifest lasting happiness. This weekend gives you the motivation to push away from bad old habits that actually pit you against a friend or loved one. There is no need to take sides or assign blame, but there are a hundred reasons to deliberately readjust your attitude - not just for the weekend, either. Look at your relationship history. Think about your connections at home, work, school, everywhere. How many times have you honestly faced the truth about why a friendship failed? You're far more powerful than you're willing to admit and have played a key role in the success and misadventures in your private and professional endeavors. This is your 'get real' weekend.

I Have an Addiction

I'm a sucker for free food.
Especially when it's something sweet.
Or sandwiches.

My Neck, My Back

So I came home after work, made dinner and got to finishing Helene's pattern. I did it in about an hour and a half, and my back hurts from leaning over my tiny table in my living room. Helene is my best friend's cousin. My best friend is Beth. Beth's getting married in September, and not only have I been asked to make the bridesmaid's dresses, but I've been asked to be a bride's maid. I feel unbelievably honored. Anyway, I really have to focus on this project because I only have a month left. I wanted to make her a board too, with sketches and swatches - just like in school.

Right now I'm sprawled out on my couch with the Olympics as my background noise, trying to recap my day. I think about so much all day while I'm at work. I think about my hair, my clothes, things (objects) I want to paint, clothes I want to make, stuff that would be funny if it existed, food I should and shouldn't be eating, wondering what other people are doing...and why I can't have a summer vacation. I'm hoping after these dresses are finished, I can start working on things and displaying them here.

My desk looks a lot like my apartment right now.

But looking at my apartment, you'd think I'm busier than I actually am. I just start things and then leave them set up so it reminds me to work on it. It's quite embarrassing at this time.

One of my next "goals" is to get to the eye doctor and get new prescription lenses in these vintage Cazal frames I bought in the beginning of the summer. I haven't been able to wear them because they don't even have non-prescription lenses in them. I wore them once on the 4th of July. No one has any sort of documentation of that night - of any kind. The one night I'd like to have pictures of, and no one brought a camera. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on when I get the lenses.

This has got to be one of the most boring posts ever.

Shower to Shower

So I went outside during my lunch break to get some yogurt and this guy cut me off - he was walking way too close...Long story short, he definitely smelled like tacos, and not in a good way. He smelled like that B.O. spice that they put in those "taco seasoning" mixes you buy at the grocery store. To make matters worse, he was wearing cargo pants with thong flip flps. Unfortunately I left my camera inside during my venture to Trader Joe's. Maybe next time I'll be more prepared.