Vulchers.

(Photo taken from Google Images. By the way, please sir - cut your hair.)

Let me tell you about my experience this morning.

I had an appointment to see an apartment at 8:30.
I walked up to the apartment building and 2 men were sitting outside:

1. Older Puerto Rican man (could be my grandfather)
2. Younger Puerto Rican guy (in his 30s)
Each had a little dog.
The relevance of their ethinicities will be revealed as you continue reading.

The older man turned out to be Armando, the super, and he told me to follow him and he'd get the key to show me the apartment.
The younger guy came inside too, and as we were walking in, he told me I was very pretty.
I just smiled politely and thanked him.
He then went to his apartment (with the dog named Cuddles).

Armando took me upstairs to see the apartment, and we had a short conversation about it, and as we were both walking toward the door, he asked me my name again, and I shook his hand. He didn't let go of my hand, so I patted him on the shoulder with my other hand, and he gave me a hug - and not just any hug, but the Lasting Embrace. I moved around so I could get out of it, and he kissed me on the cheek! I was right next to the door, so I told him it was nice to meet him and I left.

In the hallway, the younger guy was coming down the stairs, and he said goodbye, and it was nice meeting me and whatever.
As he was saying that, a 3rd - ironically Puerto Rican - guy came out of his apartment with no shirt on and started talking to the young guy.
Then he noticed me and said, "Oh. Hello." And tried to talk to me, but I was already running down the stairs.
AND as I was running down the stairs, I heard, "Hey come back! Don't leave!"
I feel like it was the shirtless one.

In conclusion, I'm never going to Puerto Rico.